annie blog

Ahh, Little Boys


Ahh, Little Boys
I will never understand these little folks that I’m living with. Now, I’m going to tell a few stories with body parts….so come back later if you don’t like that sort of thing.

This morning, I was out in the back yard taking out the dog. The youngest two are always up early, so they were out there with me. So, you know, the dog was doing his business in the grass and out of the corner of my eye, what did I see? The 6 year old had whipped it out. So what did I say? “Ack, put that thing up!!! You go inside, you’re not a dog!” He did what I said, but I don’t think that he wanted to. Maybe little boys don’t want to let anyone do their business alone? I’ll never understand.

And, I wasn’t done with the body part/body function conversations for today.

After dinner, we were out in the backyard. Jon was playing with #2 and #3, #4 was running around and I was sitting on the steps talking to #1. Oh, that boy. He noticed the strap of my bra peeping out of my sleeveless shirt and an interesting conversation ensued.

#1: What’s this?
Me: Something I wear under my clothes. Women wear them.
#1:Do you wear it for the lumps that you have over your heart?

Lumps that I have over my heart? Bless him. He is slowly understanding his world. So now, the dilemma. Where do I start informing this , basically guile-less, child without giving him lots of terminology that I’m afraid that he would throw around without care for how it is received? I have to think about this stuff. Do I want him to know and use the word “breast”? No, I don’t think that I do right now. Why? Because, this is the child who asks androgenous-looking people what they are. He asks old people if they are old and how their ears got so tall. He tells people that they are not skinny. He does none of this to hurt their feelings — but talking to people like this isn’t good. But it would be so much worse if he asked someone how her breasts got so big, small, waistlength, fill in the blank. Yes, I think that we’ll just leave it at “lumps over my heart”. That’ll hopefully be okay.

Lumps over my heart. Lumps in my heart. I think that I’ve got them both.


  1. That makes me laugh out loud! He is such a great kid. Life in your little home/yard sounds so fun and happy!

  2. I love the way he expresses himself–kids in general come up with the funniest things. Lumps over my heart–I like that. Joanie

  3. He is a total sweetie. I love everything you and Jon write about him. A part of me wishes that more people were like seems like people are prisoners to what they are taught is good and bad and ugly. It’s too bad the world has to be so restrictive…

    I think I’ve got water in the eyes.

  4. Oh, I think lumps over your heart is good for the rest of his life. So much more endearing and very sweet.

  5. Big lump in my throat–what a guy

  6. He puts lumps in my throat, too, Denise, on a daily basis probably. And, you’re right, Weez, sometimes I wonder if James’s world is better with little falsehood and no guile. Would we even recognize a world like that? Maybe it’s a little piece of heaven.

  7. Thank your for sharing your “body parts” stories… they make me giggle.

    And, yes, no guile… a little piece of heaven… I agree.

    Good luck with school this year!

  8. That’s pretty stinking funny.

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