{"id":3804,"date":"2009-06-23T08:32:00","date_gmt":"2009-06-23T08:32:00","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2017-03-23T04:25:28","modified_gmt":"2017-03-23T04:25:28","slug":"","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.annbarlow.com\/?p=3804","title":{"rendered":"Thank You, Coca-Cola"},"content":{"rendered":"

Thank You, Coca-Cola<\/b><\/p>\n

This world is an interesting place, y’all. Things sometimes fit together in curious ways.<\/p>\n

An explanation:<\/p>\n

I’m allergic to Missouri. But, Missouri, don’t be down about it, because I’m allergic to Mississippi and Alabama, too. Mississippi and Alabama lead to bronchitis — you just make my head hurt. And it’s funny, every Spring that rolls around, you make my head hurt in a different spot. <\/p>\n

Repeatedly. <\/p>\n

So, thanks for keeping it interesting.<\/p>\n

A few years ago it was my cheekbones. They would ache at certain times and I would feel like they were so heavy that they were going to actually fall off my face.<\/p>\n

This year, you have decided to sock me right between my eyes. Right underneath the wrinkles that my youngest son so loves to look at. The wrinkles that look like a wonky eleven. <\/p>\n

My sister, Deana, and I elect to call wrinkles …wranks<\/b><\/i>. Don’t know when we started that — years ago now. Not that she has any, the goose.<\/p>\n

Anyway, one day I was driving carpool when I decided that I simply must pull into a drugstore and get something to take for for my headache. And, I didn’t have anything to take the medicine with, so I did a very uneconomical thing. I bought a bottle of Cherry Coke to take it with. Normally, I would have just found the store’s water fountain and waited until I could get home to get something else to drink. But I was slap in the middle of carpool — so not getting home anytime soon — and, dang it, I wanted something cold to hold against my forehead to take my mind off of the pressure zinging me right between the eyes.<\/p>\n

I found out something interesting. <\/p>\n

You may recall, a coke bottle is shaped like this:<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

And so, when I put it to my forehead, I found out that we were a perfect match for each other. <\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

Even down to the little notches in the bottom of the bottle that are a perfect cut-out for my nose. I’ve pondered figuring out how to make a head band, of sorts, so that I can hold the thing on there while I go about my day.<\/p>\n

Now, wouldn’t that look glamorous.<\/p>\n

So, if you see me, and my forehead wranks seem to have magically disappeared, don’t assume that I’ve suddenly gone in for some Botox. <\/p>\n

Nope, I’ve just frozen my forehead with a Coke bottle.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Thank You, Coca-Cola This world is an interesting place, y’all. Things sometimes fit together in curious ways. An explanation: I’m allergic to Missouri. But, Missouri, don’t be down about it, because I’m allergic to Mississippi and Alabama, too. Mississippi and … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annbarlow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3804"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annbarlow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annbarlow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annbarlow.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3804"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.annbarlow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3804\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annbarlow.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3804"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annbarlow.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3804"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annbarlow.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3804"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}