Quotes from My Zany Oldest Son

J: So, Mom, one day I’m going to die and then I’m going to go to heaven.
Me: That’s right, J.
J: And, when I get there I’m going to say, “WOW, I’m in heaven, I’m not dead, after all.”
Me: Yes.
J: And then, I’m going to go over to God’s throne and try to pick it up. I might hope that it won’t be as heavy as it looks.”

I have no reply because I was speechless and laughing.

and….

J: Hey Mom.
Me: Yes, J?
J: Guess what? I’ve got some irony and I’m going to PUT IT ON YOU!

Okay, I’ll let y’all know what it feels like when he lays that irony on me.

Oh, and, he also called some little 5 and 6 year olds, “Hey, you little asses!” when we were helping with recess at my 2nd son’s school. The teacher who was working recess and I were both laughing so hard that we couldn’t even get breath to talk.

That child of mine.