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The Dreaded Science Project


The Dreaded Science Project
Well, the time has come for me to do a science project. And, no, it’s not really my project though it is feeling more than a little bit like mine right now. J, my oldest, is required to do a science project this year for school. Science is not his best subject (understatement) since it requires him to do some abstract thinking. Do you know how hard it is to teach abstract thinking? So far, this project has been more difficult for me than the Westinghouse one that I did in high school.

But of course, there is a lot of humor there as well. Why? Because, the students are journalling their daily progress on their projects. Which means that we get some really hilarious thoughts from J. When someone gives him an assignment to write something he *will* write something. Will it have any relevance? Probably not. Will it make you laugh? Probably.

(Notes from the teacher are in italics.)

January 24, 2008
These are notes that J has written daily on is science project. He is asked before typing what he has done on his project and told to type it out. These are the results.

Smash, crash, mash. Never mind, it’s music now.

Looks like my project worked!
Let’s just say aloha, oh.
Crack it, Mr. Rusty!
Science project will work soon.
P.S. By the way, who’s Bill Nigh?
One last thing. Good luck!
See you at the science fair.
Okay, okay, Capeesh.
Let’s try some painting instead.

January 29, 2008

Well, maybe we should incubate.
You’re going down.
Well, I was testing it out.
And Mr. H tried it.
Now I’m going to make my deadline.
Projects aren’t written by losers.
We were trying it out when it was time to go to store.
Cancel that order.
Sarcasm. Strike the cage.


I don’t know whether to sigh or giggle. Maybe I’ll do both.


  1. Well, at least he writes something! I think sighing and giggling are your best options for sanity. I know I chuckled when I read what he wrote.

  2. Anne, you should submit for a poetry contest at Wash. U. Get James to read it and he’ll definitely win you some cash. This is beautiful stuff. It’s made our lives brighter, so your suffering isn’t for naught.

  3. I’m glad that y’all liked this. I would love to be there when one of the science fair judges looks at his log book. He wrote funny stuff everyday and it all has to be included.

  4. Does J. like medical TV shows or movies, where a doctor often says “We’ll have to intubate!”? Or maybe he did really mean “incubate” since that sounds more like a science project. He may not be a future scientist but he’s definitely funny. Capeesh?

  5. Amy, I think that he means incubate. And, I feel certain in saying that he won’t be a scientist someday. I’m trying to figure out a way he can watch movies for a living. 🙂

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